What’s best for your child?

Ari is at this weird age where I’m suddenly seeing the overflow of a sinful heart manifest itself through ridiculous actions. For example, at house church this week he got so angry and impatient about the food not getting to him fast enough (because a two second delay on mom’s part is waaaaay too long for an eleven month old to be patient), and what does he do? Smacks his face against the wooden table and tries to bite it with his three and a half teeth hard enough to make himself cry and start freaking out. He starts biting at anything closest to him when he’s had enough. My leg, the air, the sippy cup in front of him, anything really. It’s kind of humorous…well, it’s at least made me realize how ridiculous anger really is. He unfortunately has a temper. I’m not sure why any of this is shocking to me. I know children are conceived in sin (Psalm 51:5).

Anyways, all of this has created a little more anxiety in me as far as discipline goes. He’s no where near old enough to understand time out. A little swat on the hand at times (usually as he’s reaching for a banana pieced that’s about to be sliced in two with a sharp knife) leaves him in confusion. He still doesn’t fully understand the meaning of the word, “no.” But I’m starting to wonder, how in the world am I going to raise this sinful little boy to love and follow the Lord with a pure heart?

Yikes! This is a huge deal! I’ve unfortunately been relying on my own wisdom to just remember to put that method into action when the time comes. BUT WHAT IF I DON’T REMEMBER IT WHEN THE TIME COMES!? Or memorize these five practical steps to creating polite children. I’ve been asking all sorts of questions, but this morning I finally prayed about it.

“Even now, how do I correct him when he is so young? How do I teach him that his anger is sinful? I’m asking for wisdom, trusting you will answer (James 1:5). Show me from your Word.”

That’s what I wrote down in my prayer journal this morning. Ari was bored and fussy last night and no pile of toys big enough would satisfy his sinful heart. He just doesn’t realize his contentment needs to be secure in Jesus. Goodness, I hardly understand this most days! The frustration on my part was still lingering when I got up to pray this morning, so I knew I had to hand it over to the Lord. And guess what? Within hours, He answered me straight from His Word! He is so, so good! He showed me what’s best of my child, and what will be best for raising any future children He blesses us with.

“I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them.” Jeremiah 32:39

Fearing the Lord and having a right, active, vibrant relationship with the Lord is what is best for my child.

Phew! That took a HUGE weight off of my shoulders just reading it. The same idea is found in John 17:26 when Jesus prays, “And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.” If Jesus purposed to be set apart to the Lord so that God’s earthly children would too be sanctified, how much more do I need to be set apart to the Lord as an earthly parent so that my children can be sanctified?

So, that’s it? Just follow Jesus?

Yep, I truly believe that’s it. If we discipline ourselves in our relationship with the Lord, I truly believe He will give us the help, wisdom, and methods needed at the right time to train up our children. By fearing and trusting Him, we will leave a legacy of godly offspring, just like He desires.

It’s kind of hard to believe that little lion haired baby has a temper. haha Believe it. 😉 Those who’ve seen it believe.

In Christ

Pointing them to Jesus in the midst of cultural celebrations.

One thing I’ve learned since becoming a parent is that you don’t have a lot of time with your kids. Ephesians 5:15-16 says, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” Brian and I recently sat down to really be intentional about the ways we plan our schedule. One of our top priorities we filter our schedule through is making quality time available for us to pour into Ari. I remember reading a blogpost written by a mom who realized she only had so many summers with her kids, so she was going to make the most of it. With Easter coming around for the first time for our little guy, I realized we only have so many ressurection celebrations, 18 in home, Lord willing, to point him to Christ, and I want to make the most of that time.

“Will we do the Easter bunny?” I asked Brian this recently. No, was his answer, with an explaination along the lines of…yes, little gift baskets and eggs if people want to give them to him, but Easter’s not about the rabbit.

“So…if it’s not about the rabbit…or chocolate eggs…what will we teach our children it’s about?” I began asking for wisdom on how God would have us celebrate Easter. As a mom, these are the things I spend time thinking about, planning for, so we can create a fun loving environment for our children to learn about Jesus in. Because of that, a lot of my prayers have become very practical these days. 😉

It was literally just this last Christmas that I even learned what Advent means. It’s only been the last few years I’ve actually begun to meditate on the message of Christmas and Easter. Why is this? I grew up in a Christian home, I went to church on those holidays along with many other Sundays in the year, and I could tell you with my mouth what those celebrations were about.

But my heart didn’t get it. As I really began to think about how I desired to convey Jesus’ message for these celebrations to my family, I realized that in some ways, all those gifts and material things that I looked forward to at Christmas and Easter did get in the way. That’s my own coveteous heart’s problem, I realize that. But I didn’t want to create any sort of stumbling block for Ari trying to grasp the great things Jesus has accomplished for him.

No, I am NOT saying don’t give your children gifts. Obviously both of these holidays were about God giving His only Son as the best gift to all of sinful, rotten, smelly humanity, and I want to be a parent that reflects that same sort of love.

So, what am I saying?

Gifts need to be given in the context of the gospel and the Greatest Gift Giver needs to be talked about. Jesus gave His life, so we reflect His love by giving to other. We don’t deserve to get anything special on these days, but parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other family members may choose to give gifts to show their love.

Aside from that, Brian and I decided that we want to practice the Passover Meal celebration as a family. This would put the focus of Easter on Jesus a few days BEFORE any gift giving would take place. And Passover is just so, so cool. It’s such an awesome reflection of the better Passover that takes place at the cross for those who are covered by the shed blood of Jesus.

A friend of mine shared this fun Passover meal how-to a few years back. I’m gathering all the odd supplies this week, and am anticipating learning about what each of them represent. Like horseradish? Yuck! (I think that’s the point…haha) Here are some ideas for putting together a traditional Seder Meal as well.

I also can’t wait to go through Love to the Uttermost this next week. I went through John Piper’s advent readings in December, and it greatly helped me see Jesus’ mission in coming to the earth, so I’m excited to learn more about Jesus in Easter.

These seem like such simple things that we should get by now, huh? haha Nope…we’re always under construction, as I’ve heard a recent teacher say. 😉 Until heaven, I will continue to look to Jesus for direction in all these things. 🙂

I know God’s methodology to celebrate these great days in history differs for each family. I’d love to hear some of the traditions you’ve incorporated into your celebrations. 🙂

Happy Almost Holy Week! 🙂

In Christ

A warning & false humility.

Oh, hello there. Long time, no see!

Dianne and I were laughing the other day about how hard it has been to keep our with our own personal blogs while writing and working with Deeply Rooted Magazine. I get something written for my blog, and then it’s turned into something else and needed somewhere else. haha To be honest, God has kind of blown me out of the water with the ways He’s been calling me to use my writing these last couple of months. Aside from regular family life and ministry, I feel like Brian and I are constantly trying to meet deadlines for some sort of writing project. This is all good. It’s what God’s called us to: a busy season full of writing and teaching through social media, in ways this typewriter loving gal never thought she would be called to teach. haha

After some sobering news Sunday night, Brian lovingly decided it was best for us to cuddle the litte baby up in a blanket and go for a walk. We were reflecting on the news, our busy month of projects and schedules, and talking about the realities of being human, questioning if it’s ever possible to do anything on this side of heaven ONLY for the purpose of glorifying God. I’m still not 100% sure of this answer, but I do know there’s plenty of pride in my heart that it probably will take until heaven to work a good amount of it out. haha

“So, what do we do?”

I proposed to stop writing altogether. “Why serve if it’s out of a selfish motivation?” I’m always dramatic like that, pretty black or white. haha But you can’t just do that. Warren Wiersbe talks about pride and says, “To be poor in spirit does not mean to deny your personality or try to suppress it. It simply means yielding it to God for Him to make it all that He wants it to be.”

Something I’ve learned about myself lately is that I try to tone down who God has created me to be and the gifts He’s graciously given me because I fear what others think of me. I fear that others will think I’m too bookwormish and not faith based enough, so I don’t talk about things I’m studying in depth and what God is showing me through them. I fear looking fake because I genuinely nerd out when we get anywhere close to a city library. I dumb down who God made me to be, and that is rejecting a gift from the Good Gift Giver. That’s just as prideful as being completely self-absorbed! “No thanks. I think I can re-invent a better version of Lexy for You.”

Maybe I’m digressing. But my point is that I can’t just stop writing and serving God and His people this way. Stop speaking what God is showing me to others. Stop because of sin and an awareness of my weakness and the pride that creeps in. In contrast, Wiersbe also gives the definition of true humility. “To be poor in spirit, then, means to know yourself, accept yourself, and be yourself to the glory of God.”

BE A GOOD STEWARD. USE the gifts God has given me. It’s NOT true humility to deny who God has made me to be. He has laid out very specific works in advance for me to walk in, and if I don’t steward my gifts well, how can I walk in those good works?

I apologize for the rambling today. 😉 I’ve been doing much processing this week. I think it resulted in God showing me a solution in John 3:26-30.

“And they [John’s disciples] came to John and said to him, ‘Rabbi, he who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you bore witness—look, he is baptizing, and all are going to him.’ John answered, ‘A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, “I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.” The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but I must decrease.‘”

Pointing to Christ was John the Baptist’s heavenly calling! He was to prepare a way for the Son of Man. He was to glorify God, and not Himself. But his disciples had it wrong. They went to him and basically said, “What are you going to do!? You’re losing your followers to Jesus!” My pride would have begun to fret with my pupils at this point, but instead John shows humility and joy in TRUE success. He probably laughed at them and then said, “THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT. My joy is now complete because Jesus has increased, and I have decreased. THAT is success!”

I was reminded of that passage this week while I was doing the wishes. My mind started to wander after seeing an article by me was unexpectedly published. My thoughts turned towards self. “How cool that you get to do this…and you do that…Everyone…blah…blah…blah.” Pride.

You must decrease, so that I can increase, said the still, small voice. When you choose to decrease, you make room for me to increase.

Ok, Lord. I give this struggle to you. I won’t succumb to immobility. I will lean on you each moment for true humility, giving my gifts to you for your purposes, that you may increase.

I’ve had to have the conversation with the Lord probably fifty plus times the last few days, but that’s grace, isn’t it? Sanctification is a long, long process, and awknowledging the sin is always the first step.

What things have you been struggling with lately? And how has God met you where you are in the Word? 🙂